Hello everybody,
So my mom recons I am old enough to be married like all mothers do, but the difference between all the mothers of the world and mine is that she is Indian. If you are an Indian then you know how big of a deal it is for Indian girls to be married young. And since I am not cool enough to have a boyfriend or have someone I can introduce at home, my mom has taken the matter of my marriage upon herself and thinks that it is her life's goal to get me married to a nice, well settle guy who comes from a good family.
Well that is not too long of a list to look for in guys right? Apparently that is expecting way too much from guys. My mum who has registered my "profile" is an "matrimonial house" got this profile of a guy (whom I won't mane) and let's just call him Mr. Dokey!
Now, Mr. Dokey lives in Miami, Florida and has done his masters in Engineering and works there as a business analyst at a hospital. After both our parents initially spoke over phone they exchanged the details of our profiles over email which took about a week, I saw the few images that were sent to my mum by email and he looked alright and it first looked like I looked fine to Mr. Dokey too. So he told his mother that he would like to have a conversation with me on Skype. That was what I wanted too, because I have firmly told my mother that I am not going to marry some random guy without getting to know him better.
So last Saturday, Mr. Dokey's mother emailed me his skyde details and I added him to my contacts. To my surprise Mr. Dokey was already online and was ready to have a conversation with me. And since I had never really met a guy physically or virtually with marriage in mind this totally threw me off guard and I was literally this close to having an anxiety attack.
When he called, I was so nervous that I had such difficulty breathing I was sure I would pass out. That is exactly what would have happened if he had started to interrogate me about my life. Luckily, he turned out to be really chilled. That is something I had least expected of any guy (don't know why.) He was all smiling and the conversation was really pleasant. He actually told me all about himself without me having to ask him much and whenever I asked me some basic questions like what kind of wife does he want he gave a reasonable enough answer. Also I must add that he was extremely charming and he put me at ease the moment our conversation started. I slowly started to relax and breathe easy. ti even felt comfortable after the first ten minutes and was began to have fun. It was exactly like going on a first date but with a computer screen between us. We spoke about our college, to work life to everything about our favorite movies and music and hobbies.
Now this is what threw me off a bit about Mr. Dokey. He said he has no hobbies and in all the 8 years of him living in America he has travelled only to Yellowstone National Park once and does not watch movies in the weekend and he doesn't like to go out over the weekend but loves to bring his work home and finish them by Monday morning. To be fair, I am not a very outgoing person either and I love staying home with my copy of Wuthering Heights. But even me - an introvert - have friends I meet up with over the weekends. And as lazy as I am, even I have hobbies and I love travelling and watching movies!
But at the moment I was so charmed by Mr. Dokey I thought, 'Oh this is no big deal, I can live with a boring man as long as he is charming and I am smitten.'
After talking for about ninety minutes we ended our conversation saying that it would be best if we spoke some more before saying anything to our parents and since he is always working and so busy all the time he would email me and let me know when we would talk again.
Obviously, my mum who was standing right outside my door in spite of managing to hear some of our conversation did ask me to tell her in detail about what we spoke and what I thought about the guy and would I like to marry him. I told her (as per Mr. Dokey's request) that I would like to talk to him again before giving my answer.
After this conversation I got really busy the following week and so did my mum and I forgot all about the conversation plans with Mr. Dokey until last night when my mum reminded me. I promptly checked my email to see if he had sent details on when we would talk next and there was nothing. My mum called his mother today morning and apparently Mr. Dokey told his mum that he feels very confused and doesn't know how he feels about me. He is too busy at the moment to call me and continue conversation with me and hence is still contemplating if it is the right time for him to get married to anybody at all.
So here I am thinking, if you don't want to get married why create a profile at the matrimony house and make both our parents figure out computers and internet and exchange profiles? Why would you want to even talk to me and waste my time if you don't have marriage on your mind? Or is he such a chicken that he is making this up to avoid refusing me?
So with the end of this story ends the role of another jerk in my life. If you are opting arranged marriage are you ready to face jerks? If you are already married and your marriage was arranged how did you know your spouse was the one?
Wishing you happiness and a successful marriage,
Love,
Ranju
So my mom recons I am old enough to be married like all mothers do, but the difference between all the mothers of the world and mine is that she is Indian. If you are an Indian then you know how big of a deal it is for Indian girls to be married young. And since I am not cool enough to have a boyfriend or have someone I can introduce at home, my mom has taken the matter of my marriage upon herself and thinks that it is her life's goal to get me married to a nice, well settle guy who comes from a good family.
Well that is not too long of a list to look for in guys right? Apparently that is expecting way too much from guys. My mum who has registered my "profile" is an "matrimonial house" got this profile of a guy (whom I won't mane) and let's just call him Mr. Dokey!
Now, Mr. Dokey lives in Miami, Florida and has done his masters in Engineering and works there as a business analyst at a hospital. After both our parents initially spoke over phone they exchanged the details of our profiles over email which took about a week, I saw the few images that were sent to my mum by email and he looked alright and it first looked like I looked fine to Mr. Dokey too. So he told his mother that he would like to have a conversation with me on Skype. That was what I wanted too, because I have firmly told my mother that I am not going to marry some random guy without getting to know him better.
So last Saturday, Mr. Dokey's mother emailed me his skyde details and I added him to my contacts. To my surprise Mr. Dokey was already online and was ready to have a conversation with me. And since I had never really met a guy physically or virtually with marriage in mind this totally threw me off guard and I was literally this close to having an anxiety attack.
When he called, I was so nervous that I had such difficulty breathing I was sure I would pass out. That is exactly what would have happened if he had started to interrogate me about my life. Luckily, he turned out to be really chilled. That is something I had least expected of any guy (don't know why.) He was all smiling and the conversation was really pleasant. He actually told me all about himself without me having to ask him much and whenever I asked me some basic questions like what kind of wife does he want he gave a reasonable enough answer. Also I must add that he was extremely charming and he put me at ease the moment our conversation started. I slowly started to relax and breathe easy. ti even felt comfortable after the first ten minutes and was began to have fun. It was exactly like going on a first date but with a computer screen between us. We spoke about our college, to work life to everything about our favorite movies and music and hobbies.
Now this is what threw me off a bit about Mr. Dokey. He said he has no hobbies and in all the 8 years of him living in America he has travelled only to Yellowstone National Park once and does not watch movies in the weekend and he doesn't like to go out over the weekend but loves to bring his work home and finish them by Monday morning. To be fair, I am not a very outgoing person either and I love staying home with my copy of Wuthering Heights. But even me - an introvert - have friends I meet up with over the weekends. And as lazy as I am, even I have hobbies and I love travelling and watching movies!
But at the moment I was so charmed by Mr. Dokey I thought, 'Oh this is no big deal, I can live with a boring man as long as he is charming and I am smitten.'
After talking for about ninety minutes we ended our conversation saying that it would be best if we spoke some more before saying anything to our parents and since he is always working and so busy all the time he would email me and let me know when we would talk again.
Obviously, my mum who was standing right outside my door in spite of managing to hear some of our conversation did ask me to tell her in detail about what we spoke and what I thought about the guy and would I like to marry him. I told her (as per Mr. Dokey's request) that I would like to talk to him again before giving my answer.
After this conversation I got really busy the following week and so did my mum and I forgot all about the conversation plans with Mr. Dokey until last night when my mum reminded me. I promptly checked my email to see if he had sent details on when we would talk next and there was nothing. My mum called his mother today morning and apparently Mr. Dokey told his mum that he feels very confused and doesn't know how he feels about me. He is too busy at the moment to call me and continue conversation with me and hence is still contemplating if it is the right time for him to get married to anybody at all.
So here I am thinking, if you don't want to get married why create a profile at the matrimony house and make both our parents figure out computers and internet and exchange profiles? Why would you want to even talk to me and waste my time if you don't have marriage on your mind? Or is he such a chicken that he is making this up to avoid refusing me?
So with the end of this story ends the role of another jerk in my life. If you are opting arranged marriage are you ready to face jerks? If you are already married and your marriage was arranged how did you know your spouse was the one?
Wishing you happiness and a successful marriage,
Love,
Ranju
